Some things we’ve learned

Dr. C. was a regular writer and hortipersonality at BHN for many years until his retirement in 2011. As a nod to the 1980’s, we are herein reprinting some articles from another era.

Never talk back to a teacher whose eyes are twitching. —Andrew, age 9

Never trust a dog to watch your food. —Patrick, age 10

Never try to baptize a cat. —Laura, age 13

Murphy’s Law states that if anything can go wrong it will, and has been “found to be just as immutable as anything postulated by Newton and Einstein,” according to Geoff Clark at Australian Plants Online.

The following are some of:

Murphy’s Laws of Gardening

Noah’s Hypothesis: The planting of a new garden will be followed by a flood, unless there is a drought.

The Phantom Breeze Enigma: If spraying is carried out in calm conditions, weed killer will be blown towards the shrubs, but insecticide will be blown into your face.

Young Helpers Axiom: Nice plants are easier to pull out than weeds.

The Jacaranda Principle: If anything goes wrong in the garden, it goes wrong with your favorite plant.

The Catastrophe Theory: Cats find newly planted seed beds superior to kitty litter.

The Canine Corollary: Dogs find lovely plants superior to lamp posts.

Weed Axiom: Weeds can never be eradicated, only changed in form.

Clarke’s Law: The heaviest frost of the winter will occur on the first night that you forget to cover a tender plant.

The Shrivel Principle: When you forget to water your plants, there will be a heat wave.

Pest Principles:

  1. All pests prefer desirable plants to weeds.
  2. For every pest you can see, there are a hundred you can’t.
  3. If the bugs don’t get it, the fungus will.